Chef makes an effort to bake cakes for coworkers' birthdays, only to have none of them do anything for her birthday, she refuses to keep the tradition: ‘It's not worth the effort’

Author image for Bar Mor Hazut
Bar Mor Hazut • Senior Editor
Jun 5, 2025 10:00 AM EDT

Being obligated to spend your birthday at work is not something most of us look forward to. No one pictures their dream birthday starting with an 8-hour-long workday alongside their coworkers, but sometimes (most times, if we're completely honest), it is what it is.

If you happen to find yourself in a nice workplace with people you like, they might try to make the first half of your birthday a little more pleasant and memorable. They can all sign a sweet card, come over and congratulate you personally, and if they are really feeling generous, even get you a cake. It might not be a dream birthday, but given the circumstances, it could be a lot worse.

For example, you could be the one who always makes the effort to make everyone else's birthday as great as possible, even bake their cakes yourself, only to have none of them do anything for you to celebrate your birthday. That can be a big disappointment, as it was for the chef in the story below. She went out of her way for all of her colleagues, and they didn't even bother making her a birthday card.

At least they weren't surprised when she told them she would not make any more cakes for anyone else…

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    Cheezburger Image 10513728512
    via studioroman

    The image does not depict the actual subjects of the story. Subjects are models.

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    AITAH For no longer making my colleagues a birthday cake.

    So I 30F am a chef and have been working at a high-end restaurant for almost 2 years. Since I started, I made it a point to find out when a fellow colleagues birthday was and
    via MissHappy_Gilmour
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    make them a cake/sweet treat to celebrate and then share it with everyone else working. Since then I have made numerous treats at work for birthdays, I have also made
    via MissHappy_Gilmour
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    them at home and brought them in the next day if I was off or we were closed, along with going out early in the morning on my days off and buying specific treats for one reason or
    via MissHappy_Gilmour
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    another to drop off before service started. My birthday however was a month ago, and no one at work did a single thing. They knew it
    via MissHappy_Gilmour
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    was my birthday over the weekend in which we were closed because they all asked me about it the following work week. I was pretty hurt, but let it go and told myself that I
    via MissHappy_Gilmour
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    wouldn't be making any effort for anymore birthdays unless specifically told to by my boss. Now it's someone's birthday tomorrow, which I didn't know about until a colleague emails
    via MissHappy_Gilmour
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    me saying "It's ....... Birthday tomorrow". That's it's, thats the whole message. No hello, or how are you...just those four words and it rubbed me the wrong way. I worked a semi-
    via MissHappy_Gilmour
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    solo shift today, everyone else was off and could have organised something and I was very busy as it's prep day today which I do at the start of every week, prepping specific items
    via MissHappy_Gilmour
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    for other sections to help them get a head start. After a couple of exchanges, I held firm and told them I was too busy tomorrow to do it and I won't be making a cake for anyone
    via MissHappy_Gilmour
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    anymore for the remained of the year as no one put any effort into mine this year. They said "ok, fair".
    via MissHappy_Gilmour
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    Now I feel terrible, and second guessing whether to make something small at work even though we are incredibly busy tomorrow. AITAH?
    via MissHappy_Gilmour
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    Cheezburger Image 10513730048
    via Jacob Lund

    The image does not depict the actual subjects of the story. Subjects are models.

  • 14
    Classic-Actuary-234 NTA, bakeries are open all year round, not just on your birthday. Your time and effort should be appreciated, not expected.
    via Classic-Actuary-234
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    American DesertWitch I was also the baking person in my office, and I also stopped when no one bothered to even get a card for me. One dips . even said to me on my birthday, "I was going to
    via AmericanDesertWitch
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    make some cupcakes or something for you because you always do it for everyone. But I decided to put my new TV up instead." I actually looked at him and said, "why would you ever tell someone that?" His mouth fell open and I walked away. Ffs.
    via AmericanDesertWitch
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    Open Equal_1515 NTA at all. what you were doing was kind, thoughtful, and extra.. not part of your job. you went above and beyond for your team and when it came time for them to show you the same kindness they
    via Open_Equal_1515
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    dropped the ball. it's completely valid to feel hurt and pull back from doing something that clearly took time, effort, and care.. especially when it wasn't reciprocated.
    via Open_Equal_1515
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    if you want to do something small that's your choice. but don't feel like you should.. you already gave so much and it's okay to take a step back
    via Open_Equal_1515
  • 20
    synaesthezia Nope. If anyone asks, just say loudly "oh, I thought we weren't doing that anymore, no one got me a cake." Hold the line. NTA
    via synaesthezia
  • 21
    rojita369 NTA. They clearly don't appreciate you, they're just using your kind nature.
    via rojita369
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    HoldFastO2 NTA. So they all got cake on their birthday, and couldn't even put together a card for yours? Yeah, they're not worth the effort.
    via HoldFastO2

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boss aita workplace-stories employee job birthday tales-from-the-workplace coworkers reddit story chef overworked-employees workplace birthday cake Reddit company
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